Burning Ice

Why do we insist on finding a love that’s easy? Clinging to the idea of destiny — of a love that is meant to be, that will come at the right time, that will put things perfectly in place — is a betrayal of our reality.

In a very small pocket, buried deep in my heart, there is a quiet whisper of hope for fairy tale endings and magic. This may just be my destruction.

Too easily, it tempts me to give up on a love that demands too much. Even when its flames still burn in my every cell, thought, and breath, I doubt. If it were right, why is it so hard? My mind and my heart rebel against each other and against me.

I am paralyzed and I am at a loss for direction.

Everyday, this love demands that we claw our way through this massive wall of ice that time and distance has built between us — a wall fortified by tears, harsh words, and hidden hurts. And I cannot do it alone. Some days, I feel you have abandoned me. And some days, I have less fight in me.

The struggle goes on too long without reprieve. There is plenty enough of a difficult day to weaken and smother the flame.

“Darling, there may be real-life fairy tales, but I’m not a prince and you’re not a princess. But this love, our love, plagued with obstacles and challenges, is not any less worthy of a happy ever after.”

Stay with me, and I know, we’ll find each other again. Just stay with me.

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